Wednesday, February 13, 2008

We'll have nun of these bad habits here.

Apparently my Pussy Story has finally paid off. I'm a little disappointed that it took so long and the results not worth mentioning but this search referral almost makes up for it.

Someone Yahooed: "i finger my pussy as the sister took her habit off" and my site popped up. Actually my site was number three. Sweet! This is the best laugh I've had all week. Nothing quite like searching for sacrilegious porn. I just love the blasphemy that is the internet.

BTW: Whomever you are. If you found any pictures in your search, could you e-mail them to me?

Thursday, February 7, 2008

It's tax time again

So I go get my taxes done earlier this week and I take them to a local accountant. But let's rewind a little first.

I had been going to my accountant off and on for the last fifteen years. Now normally I might pay to have my taxes done and then in following years I just refer to my previous form and fill in the same blanks on the forms for the new year. Then once every three or seven years I pay to have my taxes done again just to make sure I'm still filling the right blanks in and still doing it correctly. This past year I had some changes in my personal life and figured I would take my taxes back to the accountant to make sure I get my deductions right.

Here's how it used to work; I would drop my taxes off with the accountant. He would put them in the 'in basket' and call me in two to five days when they were done. I didn't mind waiting. I didn't need to know how much I was getting back and I didn't really need that money right away. For $30.00 my accountant would file my federal (long) and state taxes. The money comes to me direct deposit on a Friday and by Monday I had it invested in meth and hookers. It was a system that worked well for me and I liked it.

This year I walk in to the accountant's office and he isn't there. The whole office is different. The three desks piled high with the financial stories of countless people were gone. They were replaced with four very neat and orderly desks. Behind those desks were four neat and orderly people.* Something is wrong I thought. It wouldn't be long before I realized just how wrong things really were. I looked around a bit and I see there is a Jackson Hewitt banner on the wall. This isn't good. I have a deep distrust of any entity that has a national franchise.

My take on it is this. Sure they may have started out small; but they had to screw somebody over to become a huge franchise. Either they screwed their own employees or their customers. Somebody, somehow got screwed. In order to be that successful you have to screw somebody.

One of the drones gets up from her desk and greets me.

"Welcome to Jackson Hewett tax services. How can I help you today?"

Fuck the pleasantries. "Where's my accountant?"

"Who's your accountant."

"The old guy who used to sit at the messy desk that isn't here any more"

Long pause.

"I don't know. I've only been here for a couple years."

She eye's the folder in my hand.

"Are you here to file your taxes?"

"I was but I don't know now."

"Well, why don't you come back and we'll take a look?"

'Come back and take a look?' I think to myself. I don't have two or three hours to sit here while she figures my taxes. I make a show of looking at my watch in an attempt to explain that I don't really have a lot of time.

"It won't take long, or if you want you can come back some other time." She offers.

I decide to give it a go. I sit down at her desk and hand over my folder. She starts typing at her computer and asks me five or six simple questions. She scribbles something down on a piece of paper and hands it to me. Written on it are the figures for my federal return and my state return. I am somewhat impressed. I've only been in the office for fifteen minutes and I already know how much I'm getting back.

Now here's where things went wrong.

She says, "Okay, the filing fee is two ninety or if you want us to take it out of your return it will be three ten."

My brain must have hiccuped. What does she mean by two ninety? Dollars? It can be dollars.

"Two hundred and ninety dollars?" I ask.

"Um, hm. Or you can have us take it out of your return but it would be three ten."

I'm just staring at her like a retarded kid in calculus class. I just can't process the idea of paying $290.00 dollars for what she has done for me.


Now let's do some basic math:

$290.00 in fifteen minutes.

290.00 X 4 tax returns an hour = $1160.00/hour

$1160.00 per hour!

Let's take it a step further:

1160.00 X 40hrs/wk = 46,400
46,400/wk X 52wks/year = 2,412,800/yr.

That's 2.4 MILLION a year just to have some trained monkey use a piece of software to file taxes.

Now that the math is done let's put this into perspective.

Wal-Mart employee---------------12,000 - 15,000
Skilled Trade----------------------30,000 - 55,000
Attorney--------------------------250,000 - 500,000
President Of USA-----------------400,000 +expenses
Heart Surgeon--------------------400,000 - 500,000
Baseball Player (average)---------2.4 Million
Football Player (average)---------2.5 Million
Basketball Player (average)-------4.0 Million

Jackson Hewitt Tax Preparer-----20,800

It looks like Jackson Hewitt is screwing both the customer and employee.